FOSDEM FOMO, overwhelmingness, anxiety

(I really did not know what was the best place where to post this, I hope here is ok. @admins, please move/mute this if necessary)

Dear all,

Ever since I joined this forum in October 2024, I have been thorn by a matter that I want to share with you now, hoping that maybe you have some advice, reflections, or that you can empathize with my feelings.

I would absolutely immensely love to be at OFFDEM all the time, because, even if I have never attended, I really feel like this is the kind of gathering where I can be myself, and where true human and intellectual connections can take place.

Nevertheless, I am an unemployed, relatively clueless, neurodivergent university dropout, and I am not sure if I can afford not to go to FOSDEM since, unfortunately, the massive amount of people and organizations present could offer potential employment opportunities or “useful” connections. Believe me, I feel sick dealing with this awful capitalist/productive mentality, but this is the reality I find myself forced to come to terms with.

Therefore, I have been trying to find a way to juggle and attend both events, but I know this takes quite a mental and physical toll. I am wondering if you have any practices you follow not to get crazy. Or maybe we could do this together?

I have been to Roza Nera, but it looks like it is ~20 minutes by bike from ULB… seems doable! What do you think?

Lastly, I have been trying to involve some friends and Fedifriends in OFFDEM, but for similar reasons as mine they cannot really make it. Maybe we could organize a group of people who share the same FOMO or need/want to go to FOSDEM for whatever reason, and then we move together from one place to the other?

(Not that I want to do back and forth all the time, I foresee to move from ULB – Roza Nera at most twice per day)

I created a Signal group if you want to try this experiment.

I would be very happy to know your thoughts about this! Thank you so much for your understanding!

Tommi

Thanks for your honesty.

Just bear in mind that all Fosdem talks are recorded.

The undersupply of rooms means that speakers times are often curtailed; the need to see a talk may result in you having to squat a seat in a room you are less interested (to avoid queues/risks getting in); as well as long food queues.

Ive met interesting people over the years at Fosdem and caught up with others but Im not beholden to it as an event given that there are enough opportunities with other things.

If you have a specialist interest there may be other events not involving Fosdem where you will get more satisfaction.

If you prefer community and grounds up oriented tech then OFFDEM is optimal.

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Tommi, I understand your dilemmas – FOSDEM seems like a useful event, but there are so many ugly sides to it, too.

I have the dilemmas too, but mostly about the amount of energy / attention / “spoons” I can give to the socializing &activist aspects of OFFDEM. I will choose to priorities my health, even if that means I will be missing a lot of opportunities.

Personally, I will not go to FOSDEM this time, but here are some tips from the 10 years that I was there often:

any practices you follow not to get crazy.

  • focus on personal connections , rather than lectures
  • give yourself a reasonable goal: e.g. apply for 2 jobs (instead of 20!)
  • take enough basic self-care: food, rest, water

move from ULB – Roza Nera at most twice per day

That’s too much, IMHO.

I’d say: choose either a morning or an afternoon when you want to be at one or the other event, and move only once per day.

I agree with “indie”, skipping FOSDEM altogether is not a big loss.

& I’d love to share “anticapitalist affirmations” to support you in your anxiety:

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My own reply is simple: I stopped attending FOSDEM entirely. After diving into a large crowd of self-absorbed people who are there to pack the most attention in the narrowest possible focus, I decided I need time and space. Well-being trumps FOMO.

Another part of the answer is: OFFDEM is not just an event, it is rhythm; its timeline spans years, so you can take it easy. The key to OFFDEM is to be there all along to understand what is going on, and to keep in touch along the year to keep focus and amplify actions.

This regularly happens, especially after hours, since people are looking for a quieter place. But it can be disruptive of the OFFDEM workflow, so we should make sure people come for a reason. Maybe prepare flyers explaining what’s up?

Plus what @indieterminacy and @becha wrote.

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(I moved this conversation to Welcome. If someone wants to reply as a linked topic and make it a FAQ for Infodesk you’re welcome.)

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Thank you so much, @indieterminacy, @becha, and @how!

I am really glad I shared my thoughts, because your replies are being really helpful for me, especially as this is going to be my first OFFDEM.

Especially after reading the methodology, I can really see that it is not just about getting as much as possible in (something I personally get tricked into very often), but about creating a safe space for real exchanges.

The thing is that I did not want to give up on FOSDEM altogether, but I feel more like I can, now.

See you at OFFDEM, thanks again! :heart:

P.S.: I can’t believe I did not find the anticapitalist affirmations before… They are a true gift for the soul. Thanks so much @becha!

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I think I have similar fears as you described.
I’ll try to be on Offdem for at least a moment (or much more, if everything will be ok), I’m quite shy person before I get to know anyone and I also have Fosdem fomo but I hope it will be manageable + as it was mentioned - all talks are recorded :slight_smile:

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